Barkley, you've been a good dog while I've worked some long hours and you stayed awake by my bed all night when I was so sick last weekend. You endured doggie dental cleaning and the vet said those growths we took off of you were all benign. Let's celebrate! I bought you a new toy.
Now, let me go find some scissors to get it out of the packaging. You'll like it, it's chewy and the rope things will clean tarter off your teeth.
Be right back!
"Mom, Mom, you left it all alone! Liberals might redistribute it. Scotty could beam it up! Steven Seagal might eat it! Quick! Mom, give it to me!"
"Sit! Stay! Dang, the whole election process has been quicker than this!"