Monday, June 25, 2012

Big Damn Heroes, Sir.


If life is a battle, then my inner scars are medals for valor, for swiftness, for courage, for passion. Evil is the dark-haired brother of Good; they walk hand in hand–always  .Calanthe - Wraeththu

Honor, Chivalry, words that seem old fashioned to todays generation, but words that previous generations literally died for.

What is Chivalry? A knight was expected to have not only the strength and skills to face combat in the violent Middle Ages but was also expected to temper this aggressive side of a fighter with a chivalrous side to his nature. There was not an authentic Knights Code of Chivalry as a prescribed document - it was a moral system which went beyond rules of combat and introduced the concept of Chivalrous conduct - qualities such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. Documented in 'The Song of Roland' in the Middle Ages Knights period of William the Conqueror who ruled England from 1066, it consisted of these tenents -
To fear God and maintain His Church
To serve the liege lord in valour and faith
To protect the weak and defenceless
To give succour to widows and orphans
To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
To live by honour and for glory
To despise pecuniary reward
To fight for the welfare of all
To obey those placed in authority
To guard the honour of fellow knights
To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
To keep faith
At all times to speak the truth
To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
To respect the honour of women
Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
Never to turn the back upon a foe


The "code" is written in slightly different form in different pieces of literature, but it all has these things in common - courage, loyalty, respect, honor, finishing everything you start and never refusing a necessary battle regardless of the odds.

Widows and orphans were cared for. In days of old, the helpless were looked after, but you worked or you did not eat. There were three orders in society: oratores (those who pray), bellatores (those who fight), and laborares (those who work). Those that prayed, lived beyond simply, not riding around in limos in $1500 suits while telling their followers on national TV to "send more money". The welfare class, that's rapidly becoming a huge chunk of our "modern" society, didn't exist. If you were physically capable, you pulled your weight. Or you died. The knight did not fight for the lazy, but for those who by station, age, or gender were not able to fight for themselves.  There was faith in a higher power, but not so heavenly driven, that a man was useless on earth.

A sword was a tool, to defend and protect. Lesser weapons were considered dishonorable. The dagger was considered a weapon of a sneaky assassin and an arbalest (fired from a distance) was a brutal weapon used by the untrained. A knight's code of chivalry demanded that he face his enemy openly, honestly and with skill - it was a "let the best man win" situation. Battle was more than the desire to pursue and kill, but endurance, the conviction and longing to endure beyond all imaginable limits of the flesh to protect and preserve.

There was a difference between aggression and self defense, a difference between being devoted to justice and being a school yard bully. It is a self-awareness and self-restraint and differs as night and day from apathy, the concept of which Christians might refer to as meekness, a trait often associated with Christ, and clearly as misunderstood.

There was the ability to think before one speaks, to consider the gravity of words and actions; and even to know when inaction or silence is the best avenue. Such things, many, including myself, have failed at. Such things we can still strive for. There was bravely standing up for friends, not just ourselves.


The dictates of chivalry are not some formal guide to etiquette. I hope I die before I see a "Chivalry for Dummies" book. It's not a checklist, it's an understanding of things for which a man needs no checklist. It's not bowing before your nation's enemy, it's never turning your backs on them. It's not holding the door open for a women because she's weak and lesser than you, but as a sign of courtesy. It's a way of thinking, not an era or a specific rule.

I've written on this blog more than once about the wimpification of the modern male. But being a strong man does not mean you are completely closed off to emotion, treating love like something that's common and a woman as a somewhat lesser accessory. The strongest man I know can convey in one look, one touch, what I mean to him. But one can understand where the mixed signals come from. The view from the media is one of abject consumerism, relationships that manipulate, duty as control and the worst "if there's a man involved, it's his fault". Our nation has more material comforts than the knights could ever imagine, but for many people, it's prosperity without purpose, it's passion without principles.


People espouse the Middle Ages as being little more than Pestilence, Black Death and no YouTube with the concepts of that day being outdated, or worse, by their own basis, misogynistic. What do we have now to replace it? Materialism without ethics or effort, and baby daddy's, greedy trophy wives, teen moms, and uncouth, plastic infused bimbos who get their own reality TV shows without any bit of skill or talent. This is our alternative to "the Dark Ages", a generation of people who fail to understand the difference between "can" and "should"?

Epictetus said it best "for it is better to die of hunger, exempt from fear and guilt, than to live in affluence with perturbation."

But the spirit of chivalry has not been entirely eradicated from the human heart, even in our pacifist, feminist, age. A chivalrous man today is a warrior with something to live for - and is willing to sacrifice his life either to protect or further it. Being a warrior does not not necessarily make him a man of war, but a man prepared to do battle for that which he loves. The battle can be one of ideology, not weapons, his life simply marked by preparation for something worthwhile, and thus is lived pursuing those ideals and interests which for him hold true value.

If this man is willing to die for something he loves, it is because he loves deeply and with great passion. Romantic love may well make the short list, but it's not the sole occupant of his soul, there are other causes and objects of a man's passion, that make him truly rounded.

Chivalry is not dead, it is simply dormant in many, for all things that are excellence can be as difficult as they are rare. In my writing I've referred to the knight as he, for it was a manly profession. Yet the ideas that define chivalry know no gender; it's a way of thinking expressed in form by both men and women who hold true these concepts of defense and accountability.
Some will call me hopefully old fashioned. Feminist and those more liberal minded will decry it as a way of life that is simply bloodshed, war and women seen as a possession. It's not. A chivalrous man, has no desire to control and direct a woman's thoughts, but to allow her to live without constraint, loved unconditionally, free from pesky dragons and telemarketers. He will not only arm himself with the tools he as to protect her, he will smile when she takes up her own. He will fight for her. He will fight with her.

Chivalry is NOT dead. Look at our military personnel, look at those people who responded after the terror attacks. Firemen, EMT's, the police. Nurses, doctors. A post-September 11 nation's no place for milquetoasts. We are living in a fallen world with entire societies that wish us harm, religions of "peace" that dictate to embrace them or die. This is not a time to sit home watching reality television, when the dragons aren't just bigger, they're almost nuclear ready.


It's a time for heroes. Big Damn Heroes.

In the Battle of Maldon, a few Englishmen have been attacked by a fierce army of Viking invaders. Although the Vikings are between two branches of the river and thus separated from launching their full strength at the Anglo-Saxon army, Beortnoth nobly allows them free passage to do battle on equal terms. Vastly outnumbered, Beortnoth and his brave men are slain until only a small, unflinching band of warriors remain:

“Byorthwold spoke; he grasped his shield; he was an old companion; he shook his ash spear; full boldly he exhorted the warriors: 'Thought shall be the harder, heart the keener, courage the greater, as our might lessens. Here lies our leader all hewn down, the valiant man in the dust; may he lament for ever who thinks now to turn from this war-play. I am old in age; I will not hence, but I purpose to lie by the side of my lord. . ."

In these few words, a better description of heroism, of unwavering dedication and loyalty I've not read in a while. The lines “Thought shall be the harder, heart the keener, courage the greater, as our might lessens" are a thousand years old, a pre Christian heroic spirit which author J.R. Tolkien, a crafter of worlds where chivalry roared, himself called "Northernness".

Chivalry exists, and heroism stands. Look at the people who serve in hard times, hard areas, death a shadow on the wall, so the masses can be safe. But you don't have to be a member of the military or a protector of the weak to embrace these concepts. Chivalry gives us something to strive for, something to hold up as an ideal and an understanding that throughout history there are those who have risen above the standards of the day to truly be called brave.


The year could be 1066, it could be 2001, it could be today. A hand on a rough shovel, flinging the dirt with an effortless fury, the mound of soil rising of its own volition, not crafted by man but as if flung forth by the earth itself, until the grave is readied. A warrior has fallen, medals scribed on ore or heart, small things insignificant to the view, but mute with profound meaning. The earth waits but a moment. Shadows fall with the moon's curve, no sound but the labored breath of form of one who engaged without arms, this single combat. Laying a warrior to rest.  There is now but a shield to be picked up and carried on. So, man or woman, we never forget.

28 comments:

Duke said...

Beautifully written as usual, as you state chivalry is not dead but it is severely lacking in today's society and a big part of it is the way someone is raised. OK I'm gonna step right into it, if a young man is raised without a good father, or strong father figure to teach him the proper way to live and act and treat others, and how to act toward women he has little chance if picking it up on his own. He will not get a good moral compass from MTV, he will be self-serving and have no sense that there are things worth dying and fighting for.

Borepatch said...

I had goosebumps when I read this. And your first picture is spectacular.

Plus Epictetus and Byrhtnoth to start the day! ;-)

MSgt B said...

INTEGRITY first.

SERVICE before self.

EXCELLENCE in all we do.


Chivalry lives forever.

Great post.

Ed Rasimus said...

Here's tae us
Wha's like us
Damn few,
And they're a' deid
Mair's the pity!

May those who live truly be always believed,
And those who deceive us be always deceived.
Here's to the men of all classes,
Who through lasses and glasses
Will make themselves asses!

I drink to the health of another,
And the other I drink to is he
In the hope that he drinks to another,
And the other he drinks to is me.

Then let us toast John Barleycorn,
Each man a glass in hand
Andy may his great prosperity
Ne'er fail in old Scotland!

agirlandhergun said...

My husband will love this post. He keeps saying he is going to write a guest post on my blog about the "sissification" of the American male.

RabidAlien said...

Needed this today. Thanks for posting it.

Middleboro Jones said...

I do not consider myself a hero, but I have served in the company of heroes. I have seen battle and watched as good men died, serving and dedicated to something larger than themselves.

I have looked to history for those who MEN who represent what honorable men should be - Teddy Roosevelt, Patrick Henry, Patton, IKE, and the one man who I feel had a back bone of steel, Sir Winston Churchill.

He stood alone against Hitler and the march of Facism...he had support from us, but for over two years, he stood defiantly alone against the Nazis.

This excerpt from his speech Iin July 1941 says it all. THIS is what Leadership sounds like:


"We ask no favours of the enemy. We seek from them no compunction. On the contrary, if tonight our people were asked to cast their vote whether a convention should be entered into to stop the bombing of cities, the overwhelming majority would cry, "No, we will mete out to them the measure, and more than the measure, that they have meted out to us."

The people with one voice would say: "You have committed every crime under the sun. Where you have been the least resisted there you have been the most brutal. It was you who began the indiscriminate bombing. We will have no truce or parley with you, or the grisly gang who work your wicked will. You do your worst - and we will do our best."

Sir Winston S. Churchill - British Prime Minister
First delivered 14 July 1941

Rev. Paul said...

Those who refuse to pick up the shield deserve no compassion from the eventual victors, and will receive none ... and deciding not to decide is a decision.

Your thoughtful are making me think, this Monday morning. Not a bad way to start the week; thanks.

Murphy(AZ) said...

When I read the likes of today's essay, I can't help but think about the amount of research or extensive reading involved. Mix that with the emotion you put into your writing, and it is always a good read. Thanks for your efforts.

Just My 2¢ said...

Thank you, m'lady!

That was a nice counterpoint to the current culture where girls and women seem to be comfortable being called bitches and 'hos.

drjim said...

WoW!
You just knocked another one out of the park, Brigid.

Kellie said...

I cried because you are so right. I hope you don't mind but I'm linking you to my blog!!! just too good to NOT share!
Thank you! (yes I'm sharing this with my son also)
Kellie

Old NFO said...

OUTSTANDING! Well thought out and well presented, and hopefully folks will read and understand!

Brigid said...

Note - between 10:30 and 10:45 I had some comments repeat a BUNCH of times, and at least one I know wwas sent didn't come though (yet). Sorry. . Fog45, I know yours was one, thanks for remembering my chat about this last Spring and continuing to come back for more on the topic and other things. Bless you.

Duke - That is true, I've met folks from really mixed up parents that turned out great but they are the exception.

Borepatch - Well, it was either Epictetus and Byrhtnoth or "beer, donut" so I went with the former.

MSgtB - chivalry lives forever - indeed.

Ed - I'm glad there are guys like you that lead by example.

agirl - I will look forward to a guest post from the hubby! My best regards to the whole family.

RabidAlien - thanks, Dad said it's raining out there, keep dry.

Rev Paul - thank you as always for your thoughts and please tell your daughter congrats on the shooting, I saw your post during lunch but since my break was short could not respond.

Murphy - I actually don't research much, but read, oh boy do I read a lot, or least used to when there seemed to be more hours in the day. Thank you Sir.

Just My 2cents - I wasn't raised that way, nor was my daughter. Though I do think respect comes a little easier when you have a .45 on your hip. :-)

DrJim - (blush) thanks. My best to the bride.

Kellie - yes, you may link and I enjoyed visiting you today and will be back!

Old NFO - Like the gentlemen that I know that comment here, you are one of the shining examples. It's been an honor to know you all these years.

Jennifer Hast said...

Well said! As a mother trying to raise a son into the man I know he can be, I am intimately familiar with all the things that soften a man today and fight against them. I am blessed to have a good man at my side in this fight. That's not so common anymore.

Craig Cavanaugh said...

Except for that "To obey those placed in authority" part, that is how I live my life. Those in "authority" these days wouldn't recognize chivalry if it rode up and planted a sword in their... well, you know. "Authority" these days can go straight to hell. I don't need them, and most certainly don't emulate their blind obedience to a pack of asenine sycophants with fancy titles and way too much power.

TinCan Assassin said...

Chivalry is still taught. When I was a young man, I learned it through youth groups. It was cemented in the Army. And it didn't hurt that I grew up in the South...

Brigid said...

Jennifer - Welcome! You will have valuable lessons to teach to your son with your man. Parents don't realize how much how they lead by example and what bad examples do for the next generation. I know, how very fortunate I was.

Craig - there are lines of service where you obey as that is the oath you took. If it gets too much, you leave, but when you take the oath, you try your best.

tinCan - that is why you are one of the readers out there, I would be very honored to meet and share a table with you and your wife.

eiaftinfo said...

Your blog is one of the things I look forward to every day. What a great piece.

I think there is more being taught to young men than meets the eye. I enjoy watching our Scouts learn the Oath and Law and begin to incorporate it into their young lives. Our military teaches what is the best of our nation in the most stressful of situations.

The youth groups in many churches are still sharing His teachings and how they relate to their place in society as men.

And, there are still a few moms out there that won't hesitate to kick their young man's butt if they need it.

Glimmers of hope Ma'am, glimmers of hope.

God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

Wonderful Brigid... I have a terrific daughter who is concerned at seventeen that there are few or no manly men, chivalrous men, men of character left out there...

I think part of the problem is that boys and young men have few quality men to mentor or model for them what a real man should be...

I think sometimes a military academy like West Point or Annapolis can drill it into them, but I'm afraid it's been mostly lost in society at large...

Again, Brigid... beautifully written...

Dann in Ohio

armedlaughing said...

"Chivalry is not dead, it's just that people are sleeping Knights." - Guffaw, freshman in H.S. (1967)

Steve said...

What a wonderful piece of writing on a much needed subject. Thank you for the reminder of buried treasure--things forgotten by most, but things a quality from our past.

Steve in Central CA

millerized said...

We're out there, and there are thousands of us. You just have to stop looking. It is OUR job to find those who consider us worthy of their companionship.

Rebecca Dion said...

I so wish I could write as well as you do. :) This as usual is a great article. It gave me much to think about :) And we would love to share a table with you as well

Unknown said...

YES! Very well said. And, @ Jennifer - Thank you, baby! You know I want you at my back when the zombies attack.

The Freeholder said...

Nicely done.

Auntie J said...

Heroism and chivalry live not in might and size and power, but often in the smallest places and quietest moments.

They are, like character, who you are in the dark, when no one is watching.

And sometimes, the most heroic or chivalrous act can be bending to receive the pell-mell hug of a small child, or answering a toy phone when a toddler hands it to you.

I am blessed to have been raised by such a dad, and married to such a man.

Once Free Man said...

What?
Dancing around, thumping your chest after scoring a touchdown or blocking a shot isn't how our young men should model their behavior?

Well, there goes the multi-million contract for my boy.


One simple word: integrity